Five Things to Know as a Stepfather

Five Things to Know as a Stepfather

I remember first meeting Arizona and thinking she was everything, then realising, she was everything and a mother. Thinking you've met the right person is one thing; thinking you may have met the right family is another.  

I remember first meeting Arizona and thinking she was everything, then realising, she was everything and a mother. Thinking you've met the right person is one thing; thinking you may have met the right family is another.

 

Five Things to Know as a Stepfather

1. Follow her leadMum and child (or children) have history. Ease in to their parent/child culture gently.

2. Be patient and don't try to force the relationship. Children sense attention shifting from them in new relationships. Assure them you are there to care for, support and love them too. Do this genuinely. 

3. Teach the child to care about Mum. A single Mum will have done every holiday on her own. Mother's Day may never have existed for her. Teach the child that letting Mum know she is a treasure will give them joy as well.

4. You are allowed to discipline as long as it is in line with Mum's values. Talk openly with your partner about this. If the child feels they have secure boundaries with you, they will feel safe and open to your authority because they know it comes from a loving place.

5. Your heart needs to be as open to falling in love with the idea of family life as it is to falling in love with her. Take into consideration everyone's feelings.  If things don't work out, try to maintain a little contact so they don't feel abandoned.

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